Non-Suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI)
I never knew that a day would come when the media and my life would collide and the result would be me expressing my pain by self-injury. I could never understand why it helped. I knew that the one thing I could trust to ease my pain was the razor. My tears were blood and self inflicted unlike the clear ones that I refused to let down my face. The emotional pain had no start or end. I couldn't control the rage that was building up inside. But I could put a bandaid on my physical wounds. I could understand that and for over 10 years, my tears were red rather than clear...
The world of self-injury is often known as cutting, burning, and other behavior that causes injury to ones body without the intent of dying. This is an area that I consider myself to be an expert in. I became fascinated with self-injury at the age of 14. I was a freshman still feeling misunderstood and alone; likely repercussions of childhood depression that had not been adequately addressed. Since it hadn't been addressed, my emotional tolerance was near zero and I turned to metal to ease my pain. It worked. For a time-temporarily. And then, it got out of control until it because second nature to me and possibly even an addiction.
Back in the early 2000s, self-injury was uncharted territory. Now there are books, websites, movies, and so much more about this phenomena. I chose to be brief in the information I disclose in this section due to the potential for both triggering and misuse of the details I give. Therefore, I only provide details surrounding my expereince with NSSI during talks, presentations, and other atmospheres where I can observe how one may absorb what is presented.
NSSI has been an area that I chose to research and specialize in since my days as an undergraduate in Univeristy. In total, I've had over a decade of exposure to this area and believe that bringing about more awareness and effective interventions is what will help more self-injurers step forward and ask for help.
I would be more than happy to share my journey and more information about how I overcame self-injury at your next conference, meeting, or gathering. In the meantime, check out my website below dedicated to helping individuals cope with NSSI.